Happy 21st Birthday to My First Love

 Dear Yenzokuhle Andiswa,

Sigh. I can’t  believe how swiftly time has passed us by. Seems like Holy Thursday 17 April 2003 was just the other day. How significant that you made your entry into this here world a day before Good Friday, hence Gogo Mkhaliphi named you Phasika. You truly are a special and blessed child! 

Happy 21st birthday, my precious daughter, My First Love. Thee Mdzabulandlamu ❤️

It’s quite difficult put into words what this day means to me as a mother. KUNENGI! As I reflect on this milestone in your life, my heart overflows with love, pride, and gratitude for the incredible young woman you have become. It seems like just yesterday that you came into this world in an unexpected manner (oops) turning what could have been a moment of fear into a profound blessing that forever changed me for the better. Wouldn’t have imagined! But here we are, hahaha. 

Your unexpected birth was the catalyst for my growth and maturation. In those early days, as I navigated the challenges of motherhood I discovered strength and resilience within myself that I never knew existed. Your presence in my life pushed me to become the best version of myself, teaching me patience, selflessness, a deep sense of fulfillment and unconditional love in ways I could have never imagined. I was now mother. Who would have THUNK? Sigh. 

Motherhood sure changed the landscape of my heart forever. The moment I held you in my arms, I knew that my purpose in this world was to nurture, protect, and guide you through life's journey. You became the center of my universe, filling my days with joy, laughter, and endless love. Every milestone you achieved, every hurdle we overcame together, reinforced the unbreakable bond between us. Thank you for being so mature through all of life’s bends, because God sure knows they’ve be quite a handful. 

I am grateful for how we have faced and conquered all the hardships that life has thrown our way. Through every trial and tribulation, we stood strong together, supporting each other with unwavering love and determination. Our shared experiences have forged a connection that can weather any storm, and I am proud of the resilient spirit you have shown in the face of adversity. Wishing you a life that is gentle, kind and abundantly beautiful - God knows you deserve it! 

Ooh sisi, please remember that you will always be my baby, no matter how old you grow or where life takes you. You will always be my child. You are my priority, my heart, and my greatest joy. No matter the circumstances, just know that my love for you is unconditional and unwavering, a light that will guide you through even the darkest of times. Till the wheels fall off…

On this special day, I also want to recognize the incredible bond you share with your siblings, Shrine and Alakhe. Your role as a sister goes far beyond words – it's a deep connection built on love, support, and understanding. Your presence in their lives brings light, warmth, and comfort, making you a pillar of strength for them.Thank you for being their rock, their confidante, and their source of joy. Your kindness, compassion, and unwavering support mean the world to them, and your influence shapes their lives in the most beautiful ways. Thank you for being an incredible big sister. May your bond with the sibs continue to grow stronger, creating cherished memories that will last a lifetime. Here's to you, an amazing sister (you’ll never be a deputy parent, just big sister please!) 

As you embark on this new chapter of your life, never forget the importance of faith and the guidance of God and your spiritual guides. They will be your pillars of strength, offering wisdom, comfort, and solace as you navigate the complexities of the world around you.

On this special day, I wish you a happy birthday filled with love, laughter, and unforgettable moments. May this year be a time of growth, discovery, and joy as you continue to pursue your dreams and aspirations. Always remember how much you are loved (you are loved at home, *wink*), cherished, and valued, not just today, but every day of your life.

Happy 21st birthday mntfwanami  ❤️

With all my love,

Mother. 

2023 Reflections: Holding All Things in Delicate Balance

As I reflect on the past year, I find myself contemplating the delicate balance of joy and pain that has defined 2023 for me. It has been a year of profound lessons, where I've come to understand that a good year can also be a hard year. In this year, joy and pain have coexisted, each in equal measure. The highs haven't diminished the lows, and the lows haven't overshadowed the highs. It's been a year of holding all things in a delicate balance.

In the tapestry of 2023, I found an equal measure of highs and lows. The moments of joy were truly uplifting, yet they didn't shield me from the challenges and hardships that came my way. Likewise, the difficult times didn't dampen the happiness that found its way into my life. It's been a year of embracing the entirety of the human experience, with all its complexities and contradictions.

Amidst the ebb and flow of life, one constant source of solace has been the unwavering support of my community of friends. They have been my safe landing space, providing solace, understanding, and strength in times of need. Their presence has been a guiding light, reminding me that I am never alone in my journey.

Additionally, the gym emerged as a much-needed sanctuary, offering respite and a space for self-care during challenging times. It became a place where I could find solace, regain my balance, and channel my energy towards personal well-being.

Also, the love and support of my loved ones took on new dimensions, as they showed up in ways that surpassed my wildest imagination. Their kindness, empathy, and unwavering presence illuminated even the darkest moments, reminding me of the power of human connection and compassion.

As I bid farewell to 2023, I am grateful for the experiences and lessons it has brought into my life. Each twist and turn has contributed to my growth, resilience, and understanding of the delicate balance that defines the human experience. I carry forward the wisdom gained from this year, embracing the complexities of life with an open heart and a deeper appreciation for the interconnectedness of joy and pain.

Thank you, 2023, for the experiences and lessons learned. I step into the new year with a heart full of gratitude, ready to embrace the journey that lies ahead. 

That’s how it’s been in Gugstar’s World…

Dear 2024 - I am ready ✌️

Day 2 of 7 - Detox Challenge

 

Day 2 Meals

31 July 2018

I thought I wasn’t going to run this morning, I mean where will I get the energy to run with no carbohydrates in my diet and I told the coach as much last night. Boy was I wrong! He told me my body with covert the stored fats and use that as fuel. So run I should. So my excuse was just that, an excuse. A lame one at that that.

I had an 8km run. One I sort of enjoyed than the previous one itolo. And my before work morning routine was easier as I had prepared all the day's meals last night, including the kiddies lunch boxes which was my fav chicken mayo sandwiches. Cabanga nje preparing  a mea you love, but you cannot even eat. 

Breakfast was a fruit smoothie: banana, apple, pear, naartjie and cucumber

Lunch: Butternut and pineapple. Only managed to munch half of what I had prepared and I was full. 

Supper: boiled cabbage, cauliflower, broccoli and carrots plus an ovacado

Am struggling to find the right words to describe this day. I drank twice the amount of water I drank yesterday but I just wasn’t feeling well.  I don’t even know how I was feeling. Fuzzy. Slight headaches. At times I swear I had body shakes (emangozolo) kinda. Believe you me, I wasn’t craving anything in particular but I just felt sick. 

Then coach sent us a message on the Whatsapp group and asked, "What are you guys having for lunch and how are you feeling?'' I wanted to reply, and tell him I have a headache from hell and I am dizzy and I want to quit. While at the same time afraid that the others will think am a coward If I came out in the open and shared exactly how I felt. So I waited for the others to respond. Someone replied "I have a bad headache". You can imagine the relief I felt. Hawu! I wasn't suffering alone. Sisonke mosi. Hahaha. 

Considering everything I went thru today, I could say Day 1 was a walk in the park while today was a day from hell. The explanation I received was to the fact that the body is reacting to the salt withdrawals. Drink lots of water they said, it will get better. Drink lots of water I did, but I was still feeling crappy. It kinda helped that I took a nap after work before my soccer practice at 1800hrs. 

This basically means I had a double dose of exercise today. Great Gugu, you're on fire girl!

NB: worth noting is that my appetite has suprisingly gone down. I had just a  couple of spoonfuls of my supper and I was FULL. Yes on just veggies and fruits. Do I miss meat? 

 I don't know how this detox thing works, but I do know am learning to be disciplined and to resist all kinds of temptations. I did say NO to an offer of Flying Fish after soccer practice. Lol!

Also I've noted that if the people closest to us realise how committed we are to this they give us their support. On Monday my colleagues bought all all sorts of delicacies and for once I could not share the food with them, but explained my detox challenge. Today when they drove out to buy lunch, they bought me grapes and ate their "yummy" meal in another room.  How considerate! 

Also, Today's supper was prepared by Sbe, a good friend of me -  see how much support is in Gugstar's World. They believe in me. They are rallying behind me. I can't let all these people down, but most of all I can't let me down. 

Here's to Day Three. 

My Fitness and Weightloss Journey

I want this my body back!

     

My First Ever Detox Experience

When I relocated from Tshaneni to Simunye to be closer to work a year ago I left behind my strong support system of gym buddies and running partners. As you can guess I became more and more uninspired to run or do gym. Fitness levels dropped and I was on a major weight rebound. But, what the heck? I told myself I’ll be back on the grind in no time. Days became weeks. Weeks became months…and so on and so on. And now I look like an over inflated balloon that could pop any second.

But the sad reality hit me two weekends ago. I was at this function and when later that evening people sent me my photos I wanted to wail out loud. I knew I had picked up some weight, but what lay before me was just horror. I couldn’t just understand how I had neglected myself this much and I knew right then and there that something’s gotta give. I cannot be a female version of Humpty Dumpty. I refuse shem.

Then came along Nsizwa’s weight loss and fitness challenge, wich I stumbled on on facebook, and with no hesitation I jumped on board. This is exactly the kind of a challenge and motivation that I needed to work on my fitness levels and weight issues once again. They always say Big is beautiful, but hey it’s unhealthy as well. Why can’t we be both fit and big? We could lie to ourselves all we want but we all ought to live healthier lifestyles and shed off unnecessary weight. Big or not. There I said it, Shoot me!

This week we all started on the 7 day Fruits and Veggies detox challenge. I’ve never done this before nor anything remotely close. This is a first for me. But I knew that if I had to start somewhere, it could very well be with this detoxing gig.

Here’s a Food to Avoid During Detox Diet Week List that was sent to me:

• ·         Red meat, chicken, meat products like sausages and burgers
• ·         Milk, cheese, polony, eggs, cream butter, margarine
• ·         Any food that contains wheat
• ·         Crisp snacks,  chocolates, sweets, jam and sugar
• ·         Processed foods, take aways
• ·         Alcohol
• ·         Tea or Coffee, fizzy drinks, oros, liquid fruit or any other fruit juices
• ·         Salad dressing, mayonnaise, salt and sugar
• ·         Potatoes or sweet potatoes
• ·         Cigarette

See the madness I signed for? If you know me well enough you know my love for junk and alcohol. There are always sweets or a chocolate in any of my bags. And I will not say much about alchy for now. Hahahahahaha!!!

                                

Day 1 of 7 (30 July 2017)

Pity I had to start off this detox thingy following a rather hectic and rough weekend. Could have used this day to nurse my weekend’s ailments with shisanyama and twist granadilla. Sad. Right? Maybe not! I was up by 4am for my morning run. Had a 10km or so run, might I add the longest 10km I’ve ever run. It actually was a walk. The longest 10km walk. I realised once again how stupid the body is, you stop doing something, it forgets as well. You’re back at one. I’ll explain this some other day when I have the energy.

Breakfast: green smoothie. Only drank half of it anyway and hated the taste. The rest went to the drain.

Lunch: this was so much better. Had an apple, banana and a naartjie.

Supper: steamed cabbage and carrots, lettuce with tomatoes dressed with fresh lemon juice and an avocado. All of this tasted so awful without the salt, but am trying as hard not to cheat. 

It must have drank about two litres of water today. 

I was telling Lilly earlier in the night that I was near tears as I prepared supper for the family. Issa torture of some kind to cook something you can’t even eat. Even the rice smelled divine I swear. And for the first time I realised just how everyone in my household is such a junk eater. We even have a junk cupboard. See, my temptations are all over in this house.

But as I lay me down to sleep tonight I just cannot believe I pulled through. Not a single cheat. None. Zilch. I couldn’t be more proud of myself. Day 1 out of the way!

Yipeeeeeeeee!!!

Soul Sisters

"Sisterhood is many wonderful things: its a warm smile on a cold and rainy day,  friendly hug, a cheerful hello. It's treasured. It's sacred. It's eternal. It's knowing that there will always be  someone there for you. It's dreams shared, and goals achieved. It's counting on others and being counted on. It is real. "

If there ever is one other thing I would be eternally grateful for,  is the blessing of friends. Friends who have become sisters over the years. My soul sisters. Ever heard of this thin line between insanity and sanity? Aha! That very one. Am sure by now I would have long crossed over it were it not for these beautiful souls in my life. Dear Soul Sisters, thank you for my sanity.

True and sincere friends are hard to come by these days, I must be really blessed to be surrounded by these kind good hearted souls. 2014 was such a roller coaster year in Gugstar's World and am so not sure how I would have survived it without my soul sisters; their love and never ending support.  They have held my hand through it all: the joys, the tears, the laughter, the wine sessions, 'the how Stella got her groove back nights' and yes the shopping sprees  ...oops expeditions (sprees or expeditions, doesn't matter now which is which does it?) ha ha ha and everything else in between. 

So who needs a therapist when one has souls sisters huh? You know you can always open up, bare your soul, cry your heart out without being judged. You are guaranteed they will always look out for you, they will always be frank with you. Always tell it as is and will never let you stray or derail. These are my soul sisters. My blessings. And I love thee.......

Dear Soul Sistaz....thank you for walking this journey of life with me....thank you for the guidance.....thank you for your shoulders and the kleenex....thank you for making me smile through my tears....thank for the bonding sessions....thank for letting me be me, I never have to pretend cause you love me just as I am. Thank you for putting up with me, I know I can be quite a handful: madness and all. And yes thank you for being my ATMs, lol :)


This one is for you all.....mcwaa!!!

Dear God...

Fear not for I am with you;

Be not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you,

        Yes I will help you,

I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.

ISAIAH 41

One of the many verses that make so much sense to Gugsta'rs World these days. I have never learnt to trust in the Lord like I do right now. At times it does feel as though the floods have lifted up their pounding waves and sent them crashing down on me, when the gale force winds blow in every direction and the falling hail becomes all so unbearable and all I do is wonder: why God is watching? Why is He not intervening? Why, why, why? So many whys and whys. Then I remember I have so much to be grateful for. A LOT indeed.

So Dear God thank you for this humbling experience, it's taught me valuable 101 lessons. Thank you for my strong support system of family and friends. But most of all thank you for the promise in your word "you will strengthen and help me"